Don't Let Sexual Dysfunction Ruin Your Sex Life
Many people experience sex as a fun, pleasurable, and pleasant activity! However, many factors have to work together to make sexual intercourse an easy and enjoyable pursuit. Some people experience painful sex or have medical conditions limiting their ability to engage fully and find pleasure during sexual acts. Other people can go through the motions of sex. The majority of people will experience some form of sexual dysfunction throughout their lifetimes. Women are especially likely to have sexual issues that persist for weeks, months, and even years! The good news is that most types of sexual dysfunction can be managed and may resolve independently or in collaboration with a skilled healthcare provider and supportive intimate partner.
What is Sexual Dysfunction?
Sexual function varies between individuals, but tremendous change occurs throughout life that can improve or take away from ideal function. There are significant hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy, lactation, and menopause that can impact sexual function. Our intimate or romantic relationships affect how we feel about ourselves and our partners, playing a significant role in our sexual function. The truth is sexual function and dysfunction can be a lot of different things for different people. Sometimes there may be some visibly apparent symptoms like erectile dysfunction that may point toward a specific diagnosis. Other times the symptoms are more subjective, and it comes down to how a person perceives the issue and whether they are bothered by their sexual problems.
There's no perfect answer to what qualifies as sexual dysfunction. Still, if you answer "No" to any of the following questions, it might be worth seeking help from a sexual health provider to see what options are available to help your sexual concerns:
1. Are you interested in the idea of having sex with some regularity (once a week or more)?
2. When you see or read something sexually stimulating, do you feel aroused?
3. Do you become sexually aroused at appropriate times (not too much, not too little)?
4. Are you able to connect intimately with your partner as often as you would like?
5. Do you enjoy sex when it occurs?
6. Are you free from pain during the encounter?
7. Are you able to orgasm?
8. Do your orgasms come in a reasonable amount of time (not too soon, not too late)?
9. Do your orgasms occur with the frequency and intensity that you would like?
How Our Body Sexually Functions
The way our bodies function sexually is a surprisingly complex matter. While there's still a lot of medical mystery around what occurs instantaneously to create a fulfilling sexual encounter, the essential concepts, typically, include physical and psychological factors and various stages of sexual excitement like desire, arousal, and orgasm. The physical function involves hormone balance, blood pressure, and the ability of genital tissue to fill with blood and stretch appropriately. Psychological factors include our body self-image, our perspective on sexuality, how our culture perceives sexual normalcy, and how we feel about our sexual partner(s). Desire is our interest in becoming engaged sexually, which some people also describe as libido. Arousal is the body's ability to respond physically and psychologically to sexual stimuli, with symptoms like increased lubrication, increased blood flow to erectile tissue (in both the penis and the clitoris/vulva/vagina), changes in brain chemistry, and so much more. Orgasm is the final climax of sexual arousal, leading to the pulsation of the muscles and perhaps ejaculation. Sexual dysfunction can occur at any of these stages and will, in some cases, completely close off the ability to have enjoyable sex, and in other cases, it may just make it a bit more challenging.
Medical Approaches to Sexual Dysfunction
If your sex life isn't satisfactory, know that there is help out there! Each person with sexual dysfunction is unique and will be treated by a medical professional with a tailored plan for their sexual issues. Therefore, there is no one-size-fits-all approach due to the complexity of sexual health and function. But, listed below are some common medical approaches that a sexual health provider might take to tackle your sexual concerns:
First, a sexual health professional will examine you for fundamental health issues. The medical examination will involve checking your blood pressure, looking at past and current medical conditions, relevant family history, use of medications and hormonal birth control, menstrual history, childbirth history, and then a genital/pelvic exam to look for signs of infection or other physical issues like fibroids, scar tissue, or cysts.
In the case of infection like yeast, bacterial vaginosis, or some Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs), a single course of antibiotics might solve the problem and get your body's sexual function back on track. If your blood pressure is too high or too low, there might be medications or lifestyle changes that can help to correct these issues. Many people on anti-depressants or hormonal birth control may notice changes in libido or sexual function. A medical professional can help with these issues by changing your birth contraception to a different type, or a different dosage can possibly alleviate these problems.
Suppose your overall health is good and your exam is normal. In that case, the sexual health professional will need to dig a little deeper into factors like lifestyle, relationship satisfaction, and mental health. Lifestyle changes such as limiting or eliminating the usage of alcohol and recreational drugs might help with the satisfaction of your sex life. Habitual exercise, even as simple as a brisk walk around the block each day, has been shown to improve sexual function, mood, and metabolism. Dietary changes, such as eating foods that keep energy levels stable instead of sending you into carbohydrate overloads or caffeine crashes, can also benefit an individual's sexual function. If you aren't feeling well physically, how will you enjoy your sex life to the fullest? Stress management also plays a role in sexual dysfunction and health concerns. Therefore, finding healthy ways to manage issues with depression or anxiety can improve your level of sexual satisfaction. Even though anti-depressants are sometimes linked to sexual dysfunction, that does not mean that you can resolve your sexual issues without these medications. If this is a concern, the best approach is to speak with a mental health professional to adjust your dosage or change your prescription to improve the enjoyment of your sex life.
Also, another essential measure to help resolve sexual performance concerns is to evaluate your intimate and sexual relationships. Meeting with a relationship counselor or sex therapist either by yourself or with your partner can help you reconnect intimately and help uncover any obstacles limiting your ability to have a pleasurable and healthy sex life. Taking time to enjoy each other's physical touch without sexual contact is a great way to build trust and intimacy. Scheduling time together, away from work, childrearing, or from household responsibilities is also key to concentrating on your intimate partner and truly savoring and staying in the moments of your sexual experiences between you and your intimate partner. Understandably, this isn't always an easy task to attain. Still, a sexual connection plays an integral role in healthy and satisfying sex life. So many ways to eliminate sexual issues is to make it a priority to disconnect from your daily lives and focus on the romantic and sexual components of your life. People are sexual beings by nature so, you must make intimate connections with your partner a priority to have a fulfilling sex life. In some cases, people find that they don't enjoy sex because they've developed a disinterest in their intimate partner. So, it's essential to ensure that you are in a safe, trusting, and supportive relationship when working on your intimacy and sexual satisfaction or function.
Are There Any Quick Fixes for Sexual Dysfunction?
There are no easy answers or quick fixes to having the perfect sex life despite what late-night television or women or male publication advertisements may tell you. Despite popular beliefs, even Viagra doesn't work for everyone! But, if you want to try medications targeted at sexual function, listed below are a few of the products currently available on the market. Make sure to consult your primary care physician or sexual health professional to see the best options to explore based on your medical history.
Maca root/Ashwagandha: This is a natural remedy that might help with your sexual dysfunction. These supplements have significant anecdotal evidence for boosting libido and overcoming some other issues related to sexual dysfunction. However, there isn't much scientific research to support these findings, but these natural supplements are safe for most people. They can be an excellent place to start helping with sexual issues before getting a medical prescription.
Sildenafil (Viagra)/Tadalafil (Cialis): A prescription drug studied in men with good results but has mixed results in women. This medical drug helps with blood flow issues, so the genital tissue can fill more efficiently and stay engorged for a lengthier time.
Addyi: This prescription drug is a daily pill utilized to deal with chemical imbalances in the brain that acts as a mental blockage that can prevent an individual from becoming aroused or having difficulty with arousal. This medical drug aims to remove some of the obstacles and inabilities to feeling desire and arousal. Generally, Addyi is targeted at pre-menopausal women with hypoactive sexual desire disorders.
Vyleesi: Similar to Addyi in its purpose, Vylessi is given as a self-injection on the days when you are trying to engage in sexual activity and can be given up to 8 times per month.
Topical Creams: A variety of over-the-counter (OTC) and prescription compounds can be used with excellent effects, especially on the tissue of the vulva. Sometimes these are called "scream creams" because they enhance the ability to orgasm and can strengthen the orgasm. The OTC products are more likely to cause irritation or burning but are generally safe. Prescription creams have been shown to promote blood flow and increase sensation.
Testosterone: Testosterone supplementation such as gels, creams, injections, or pellets can boost libido and won't necessarily cause side effects like facial hair growth, a deepening voice, or aggression, but it should be used with caution. Testosterone hormonal treatments are easiest to use in men and post-menopausal women so that they don't have to worry about possible impacts on pregnancy.
Take Action to Help Your Sexual Dysfunction!
The first step to solving your sexual dysfunction is by recognizing and acknowledging that there may be some issues occurring in the sexual area of your life. In an ideal world, your healthcare providers are regularly asking you about your sexual health, you have open communication with your partner about your sexual relationship, and you feel empowered to seek help in whatever form you think will be most beneficial. In the real world, maybe you've been dealing with this for a long time because you've been told "it's normal" or "that's what happens after having babies" or "sex goes down the drain when you get older." Perhaps you don't know how to start the conversation with your partner or provider, or you feel embarrassed or ashamed to do so. Whatever the case may be, you now have the tools to get the ball rolling and start moving towards a more satisfying sex life!
November is Erectile Dysfunction Month, and there are many other sexual dysfunctions out there that can lead to dissatisfying sex lives! But, there are ways to have a pleasurable and enjoyable sex life even, if you or a partner are struggling with a sexual disorder. A significant part of Lala's Bedtime Tales mission is to provide a safe space and judgment-free zone to educate yourself on sexual health & wellness. The Sexual Health & Wellness corner will have monthly articles dedicated to endless education on living a positive and sexually healthy lifestyle. Subscribe to Lala's Bedtime Tales Newsletter and follow @LalasBedtimeTales on social media to never miss any sexual education to help you live the healthiest life possible. Also, check out the Lala's Bedtime Tales Podcast and Lala's Oh So Exclusive Patreon account for even more content! If you’re browsing for sexy pleasure products or cute giftable items, then check out Lala’s Pleasure Shop.
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