Sexual Health Through Our Lifespans
We are created as sexual beings! Sex is an integral part of our lives throughout our lifespans. We at Lala’s Bedtime Tales have a sex-positive attitude and believe that talking about sex helps us live our best lives. We know that sex changes and is different for people at different ages and stages of their lives. Therefore, we’re here to provide sexual health education and insight into some of the common sexual experiences of our lives.
Childhood & Adolescence Sexual Education is of the Essence
Childhood Curiosity of Sexuality
Babies have erections in the womb. Children find that touching their bodies is pleasurable. Children often explore their bodies themselves or with friends. As a parent, giving permission to your child to discuss sex and providing limited information, such as appropriate education about anatomical body parts and names, in answer to their questions helps foster an open relationship around sexual health. Sometimes a child needs specific suggestions, such as learning more appropriate times and places to masturbate. Children need to know about how their bodies will grow and change sexually before that happens. Being aware of spontaneous erections, nighttime semen emissions, and the onset of menses help alleviate a child’s fear of the unknown or the thought that their body is abnormal or wrong.
Educating Adolescence on Sexual Health
During adolescence, it’s crucial to discuss the age of consent for sexual activity and strategies to decrease the risk of sexually transmitted disease and pregnancy with your child. Methods such as abstinence or delaying sexual activity, masturbation/solo sex, use of condoms and barriers, and contraception is essential in equipping your child to live a healthy life. The minimum age of sexual consent is when a person is deemed capable of consenting to sexual activity. The age for sexual consent is typically 16-18 years old in most countries. The objective of the age of consent is to protect the adolescent from sexual abuse and the consequences of early sexual behavior on their education and personal development. Risks of early sexual activity include sexually transmitted infection and undesired pregnancy because many teens do not have the education to protect themselves or the resources to obtain contraceptives. Early pregnancy and motherhood often preclude girls from achieving their educational goals and can have a negative effect on their health nutritionally. Peer pressure and coercion may be difficult to resist for younger people, and it’s not an uncommon occurrence for early sex to often be forced, which is an assault on the body, mind, and spirit. Power dynamics are often at play in sexual activity between teenagers with more than a three-year age gap. It’s important for teens to realize that it’s ok to say “No” to unwanted sexual activity and understand how to find help and end an abusive relationship.
Sexual Health Importance Amid Reproductive Age
Menstruation’s Effects on Sexuality
Does he take you when it’s messy? How deep is your relationship? No need to put a stop to sex because you’re on your period. It may be a little messy, but sex during menstruation has many benefits. Hormones are rising along with libido. With still a week from ovulation, this is a time when women don’t have to worry much about becoming pregnant. Menstrual blood adds to the slipperiness of sex and can act as a natural lubricant for sexual intercourse. Wearing a menstrual cup is an excellent method to enjoy penetrative sex while on your period. Having an orgasm is an amazing and fun way to combat menstrual cramps. Putting a towel down to enjoy sexual play with your partner leads to a clean and efficient way to clean up during period sex. Another great way to enjoy period sex is by partaking in sexual activity in the shower. Turn the focus onto your partner during this time. Try hand, oral and anal sex instead. Be creative and enjoy the time of releasing lifeblood. A loving partner will accept and embrace the entirety of a grown woman and not be concerned about a little blood.
Importance Of Pap Smear & Sexually Transmitted Infections Screenings
During all stages of life, please talk with your health care provider about your sexual health. Pap smear screening for cervical cancer guidelines has changed from the every year screen most women were used to, to a less frequent screening based on each person's test results and risk factors. Continue to see your health care provider for an annual preventative examination and, more often, for any episodic health concerns you experience. Pap smear screening of the cervix begins at age 21, and with negative test results, can be repeated every three years. At the age of 30 years old, Pap smear screening is paired with HPV typing. Negative test results allow repeat screening in 3-5 years or as determined by you and your health care provider. (ASCCP.org) Screening for STIs is advised annually for sexually active people under age 25 or more frequently if symptomatic or new sexual partner.
Maintaining a Healthy Sex Life During Pregnancy
Sex while pregnant can be very enjoyable and erotic. During pregnancy, your body will experience many new emotions, physical changes, and sensations. Women typically feel better during the second trimester after the typical first trimester symptoms of nausea, vomiting, and fatigue. Elevated hormone levels enhance libido. Breasts enlarge in size, the vagina is wetter, and blood flow increases, leading to heightened nipple and clitoral sensitivity. After 17 weeks of pregnancy, breasts may leak colostrum or show signs of the first stages of breast milk. Enjoy looking at and feeling your changing body and communicate what you like to your partner. The third trimester is a great time to try different sexual positions to accommodate the growing uterus. Woman on top/cowgirl and reverse cowgirl allow the woman to control depth of penetration and rhythm. Side-lying positions enable full access to the breasts and clitoris. Supporting the uterus by lying on a wedge or pillow during doggy-style positions can aid in comfort. No need to worry about contraception for nine months; you can relax into the physical pleasure of fuller breasts and rounder hips during pregnancy. Sex during pregnancy is a great way to stay mentally, physically, and emotionally connected to your partner. What a turn-on to see the life you created with your lover growing inside your body!
Postpartum & Intimacy
It is normal for women to have a lower sex drive in the postpartum period. With a newborn to care for, lack of sleep, and recovering from a vaginal or surgical birth, many moms find sex is low on their priority list. It is essential to remain sexually abstinent for two weeks after birth to allow the body to heal and decrease risks of infections or complications. Adopting a family planning or contraceptive method is important too so mom can recover her nutritional status and baby can breastfeed before a sibling comes along. Breastfeeding often delays ovulation and helps to achieve the recommended child spacing of two to three years apart. However, this is not an absolute contraceptive method. Be sure you and your partner are comfortable with the decisions you have made and agreed upon as the family planning method. After the first four to six weeks postpartum, most women find their pain and bleeding have ended, and they are feeling more comfortable with resuming sexual activity. You know what is best for your body, so listen to it. Couples may not have as much time together now that a baby is sleeping nearby and mom is frequently breastfeeding.
Hormone levels decrease after pregnancy, and many women experience vaginal dryness. Communication, being gentle when resuming sex, and using lubricant will help remedy this concern. Be on the watch for excessive mood swings, extreme fatigue, loss of appetite, and lack of joy as symptoms of postpartum depression. Get help early on. There are many effective and safe ways to treat depression in new mothers.
Sexual Health is Still of the Essence Post Reproductive Age
Menopause’s Impact on Sexual Pleasure
Around menopause, many women find they have fewer childcare responsibilities and more time for intimate relationships. Sometimes, romantic partnerships have changed, and people find themselves in new relationships. Finances may be more stable, and with more time for travel and recreation, sex can take on a new dynamic in new places or with different people. Decreasing estrogen and testosterone levels after menses cease can be associated with a decrease in libido and the robustness of orgasm. Many women experience hot flashes and night sweats which affect the quality of sleep. Some medications, bladder issues, and other health problems can affect our sex lives. Vaginal dryness is ubiquitous within 1-2 years of menopause and can be treated with vaginal estrogen. Please don’t suffer needlessly. Here’s to better loving through chemistry! Iso-osmotic (which means no fluid crosses the cell wall) lubricants like Good, Clean Love’s Almost Naked, Slippery Stuff, Sliquid Organic are preferred over hyperosmotic lubes like Astroglide, which removes water from the vaginal mucosa, resulting in dryer tissues and irritation. Find your new favorite lube at https://www.womensvoices.org/osmolality-ph-properties-commercial-lubricants/. Some women choose to use menopausal hormone therapy for quality of life issues such as sexual satisfaction. Don’t be embarrassed to discuss this very important part of your life with your health care provider. Remember to use barrier methods for STI risk reduction. Decreasing hormone levels affect vulvar and vaginal tissues leading to vaginal dryness and decreased collagen levels in the skin tissue. Women are at higher risk for UTIs and microscopic tears in the vaginal mucosa at this time, making the risk of herpes acquisition and other STIs higher.
Aging & Sex In Your Older Life Stages
Sex has physical and emotional benefits, and these don’t stop because of aging. People continue to enjoy sex into their 80’s and 90’s. If you’re interested, there’s a way to make it work for you. Loss of sexual partners through death or disease affects the frequency and quality of sex. Continue to be careful about protecting your body from sexually transmitted infections by using barriers and discussing sexual history with your partner(s). Medications like Viagra can help maintain the strength and length of an erection. Pillows and wedges can be helpful in positioning for sex for people with joint pain or size differences. Sex toys like vibrators are fun and can give a more intense orgasm without as much handwork for people with carpal tunnel or arthritis.
From childhood to old age, we are sexual beings, and sex benefits our minds, bodies, and spirits. Solo or partnered, and through all of life’s stages, sexual pleasure is enjoyable and healthy. Want more sexual health information? Subscribe to Lala’s Bedtime Tales Newsletter and follow @LalasBedtimeTales on social media to never miss out on any sexual education! Also, check out the Lala's Bedtime Tales Podcast and Lala's Oh So Exclusive Patreon for even more content! If you’re browsing for sexy pleasure products or cute giftable items, then check out Lala’s Pleasure Shop.
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