5 Ways Sexting Will Keep Your Sex Life From Feeling Like A Snooze Fest

Most of us have sent a steamy text message or two to our significant other(s). Freaky messages, formally known as sexting, are not a new concept. However, I think that we really downplay the benefits of sexting for both the individual and their relationship!  

Before we jump in, let’s define sexting. Sexting is using any technology, such as a phone, computer, etc., to send photos, videos, or messages that are sexual in nature. Given the definition of sexting, many individuals have engaged in sexting, whether with a steamy text message about what you want to do to your partner when you are in one another’s presence or a sexy video of you wearing lingerie and dancing to your favorite Beyonce’ song.

5 Ways Engaging In Sexting Benefits Your Sex Life

While sexting is a fun and steamy way to spice things up in your sex life, there are also many benefits of sexting for both you and your partner to enjoy.

So let’s explore five reasons to engage in sexting with your partner:  

1. Sexting can provide a way to tap into your sexual creativity: The brain is one of the most important sex organs, so take advantage of psychological and sexual stimulation such as talking dirty and fantasy exploration. One of my favorite phrases is, “foreplay is all day”. Therefore, before we even get into the physical act of sex and intimacy at the end of a long day, we should start engaging in foreplay before stepping foot into the bedroom. Sexting is one of the best ways to create mental imagery and sexual anticipation before physical foreplay occurs. Additionally, some people are shy when verbalizing their sexual desires, so sexting allows people to live out fantasies by putting them into text, photos, or videos. Sexting helps stimulate your mind and provides a safe space to let your imagination go wild! 

2. Sexting can be used as a form of intimacy: When engaging in sexting, this can be a genuinely vulnerable moment. You are literally sharing intimate photos, thoughts, fantasies, and words with another person. This can help strengthen your connection with your partner because the level of vulnerability will reinforce and help take mutual trust to the next level. Furthermore, I read an article that stated that partners who engage in sexting usually live a more satisfying and fulfilling sex life. This is because it helps keep the spark in the relationship and keeps it exciting, which can be used as another form of intimacy to keep you connected to your partner. Of course, you want to make sure that both of you feel comfortable before sexting because some people are not comfortable being vulnerable through digital media.  

3. Sexting can help improve communication: One of the things that I like most about sexting is the ability to communicate desires and boundaries in a fun, sexy way. Throughout my experience as a Sexual Wellness Coach and Sexual Health Educator, I have found that sexual communication is challenging for many couples. Many people are unaware of how to communicate their desires with their partners due to fear of being judged, embarrassment, and sometimes just not knowing how to start the conversation. Sexting can be a great way to open the door to explore conversations about sexual desires and boundaries because it alleviates some of the pressures and barriers many people feel when first initiating these conversations. For example, suppose someone wants to explore a role-play idea or a new kink. Instead of missing out on what could be a pleasurable experience for both of you, you can incorporate role-play or kink play into your foreplay routine through sexting. This will help you explore the fantasy before physically trying it out and allow you to see how your partner responds to it. In this scenario, sexting has not only allowed you to engage in steamy, fun foreplay but also opened the door for later conversations. While sexting is a form of sexual communication, you still want to have a verbal discussion at some point to ensure that you and your partner are on the same page about kink and sexual fantasy exploration. 

4. Sexting can relieve sexual tension: When your partner cannot meet your physical needs immediately, sexting allows you to engage with your partner during a self-pleasure session. This is especially true for individuals in long-distance relationships. Sexting can keep you connected and satisfied when distance is a barrier for you all to engage in sexual activity physically. Some ways to keep intimacy alive in a long-distance relationship is by sending your partner sexy photos of yourself or videos of you pleasuring yourself.

5. Sexting can boost your confidence: This is a big one for me! The idea of getting dressed up and cute to send sexy photos to my man is empowering! To be honest, the idea of a naked photoshoot or wearing lingerie for photos is mainly for me; my partner is just lucky that he gets to experience it too. Plus, what better way to boost your sexual self-confidence than by knowing that you got your partner aroused from your own arousal!?  

Sexting Safety Guidelines

While sexting can be fun and thrilling, there are some things to take into consideration before engaging in sexting with your partner(s): 

• Make sure that you have consent. When it comes to sexting, consent means simply asking your partner for permission to send them explicit content. Consent is essential because, as I previously mentioned, some people are uncomfortable sending explicit content via digital platforms and technology. Consent also includes discussing the platforms you feel comfortable using to exchange the content. Plus, who wants an unwanted genital picture randomly sent to their phone or DMs!?  

• Think about the legal ramifications. Sexting should only take place between consenting adults! Legally, an adult is considered a person eighteen years or older. Remember that it is illegal to share explicit content with someone or someone who is under the age of eighteen.  

• Digital content lives forever. Take into consideration that once you put explicit content out into the digital world, there is always a possibility that someone other than the intended person you sent it to can potentially gain access to it. It’s not always your partner’s fault because phones can get hacked, and photos can get leaked.  

• Boundaries are pertinent to safe sexting. Lastly, discuss your boundaries and only do what you feel comfortable and safe doing. This includes discussing whether or not there is an agreement to delete the messages after, the content that you feel comfortable sexting about, and the type of sexting that you would like to engage in (text messages, photos, videos, voice notes, etc.) Remember, if sexting is not your thing, that’s totally fine! Just make sure that you and your partner are on the same page.

5 Tips For Sexting Beginners

Check out these tips to get started: 

1. Do what makes you comfortable! You get to decide whether to be completely nude, wear lingerie, or send a sexually suggestive photo in a comfy t-shirt! 

2. Pay attention to the recipient that you are sending explicitly suggestive content! Sending sexually explicit content to the wrong person can be embarrassing and have unwanted consequences.  

3. Give your partner a heads-up first in case they are around other people who may potentially see what you are sending.  

4. Feel free to batch-create sexy content! You can keep them hidden in your phone in a private album requiring your facial ID to unlock it. (I know this is possible on the iPhone, but I am unsure about Androids).  

5. If you really want to play it safe, you can also be sure to hide your face and any other identifying markers, such as tattoos. You can also crop out the background or use a neutral background. 

Creative Ways To Incorporate Sexting Into Your Sex Life

Now that you are ready, here are some ideas to try out! 

1. Create an erotic story involving the two of you 

2. Share a sexual dream that you had 

3. Talk about a fantasy you want to explore 

4. Try virtual role-play 

5. Tease your partner with photos to make them want more 

6. Be assertive and tell your partner what you want to do to them 

7. Record yourself trying a new kink 

8. Sexy photoshoot 

9. Tell your partner what you want them to do to you 

10. Record a voice message of you moaning 

11. Talk dirty 

12. Talk about a previous sexual experience and what you liked about it most 

13. Let them know you masturbate to the thought of them

Sex doesn’t ever have to be boring. There are many ways to spice up your sex life and keep it hot. Lala's Bedtime Tales’ mission is to provide a safe space and judgment-free zone to educate yourself on sexual health & wellness. The Sexual Health & Wellness corner will have monthly articles dedicated to continuous education on living a positive and sexually healthy lifestyle. Subscribe to Lala's Bedtime Tales Newsletter and follow @LalasBedtimeTales on social media to never miss any sexual education to help you live the healthiest life possible. Also, check out Lala's Bedtime Tales Podcast and Lala's Oh So Exclusive Patreon account for even more content! If you’re browsing for sexy pleasure products or cute giftable items, then check out Lala’s Pleasure Shop.

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