Dealing with Heartbreak During the Month of Romance
Grief is hard to experience, whether it be losing a loved one, a job, a dream, or a relationship. Speaking specifically about relationships, and even more specifically, romantic relationships, Valentine’s Day, and seeing everyone else’s love out loud and on display can make those aching feelings, and a shattered heart hurt that much more. But even if it feels like you are the only single person with no V-day plans this year, you are absolutely not, and there are still ways to have an enjoyable day.
I personally love knowing and respecting love languages. For anyone not hip, love languages are how we best feel and receive love (here’s a short quiz if you’re interested in finding out yours: The 5 Love Languages Quiz. Full disclosure, my top love language is quality time. I feel the most loved, romantically or otherwise, when I spend intentional time with someone important to me. Through life experiences, I have learned that I don’t have to have a partner or need anyone other than myself to feel the love I want and deserve. I can and do love myself and make sure to incorporate all five love languages for me, and so can you. Therefore, here are my suggestions for utilizing the five love languages to show yourself self-love on Valentine’s Day.
Spend Quality Time With Yourself
It may sound silly or even impossible to spend “quality time” alone, but you can! I like to incorporate intentional quality time with myself into my daily routine. I fulfill my need for quality time by journaling or reading a good book. To make this an ideal situation, I read in the bath with a glass of wine. Some other examples of spending quality time with oneself could include going to the gym, watching your favorite television shows, or taking yourself to see a movie—which I also love to do!
Enjoy the Experience Of Your Personal Physical Touch
I am an absolute advocate for having a multi-step skin- and body-care routine for day and nighttime. I love masking in the shower then diving into my oils and creams as part of my self-care routine. I take my time and rub every inch of myself with personal care products I have found that makes me love and enjoy pampering myself. And don’t forget the perfume! Other options to experience physical touch could be getting a massage or masturbation. Don’t be afraid to love and explore and touch all areas of yourself.
Shower Yourself with Self-Compassion Through Acts of Service
For me, acts of service are any tasks that make life easier to navigate daily. One of my favorite acts of service I like to perform for myself is ordering food and wine to be delivered to my home. Another act of service that I’ve learned that has best helped me show myself love is daily planning for my week to prevent feeling overwhelmed. Whether planning for my day, getting outfits together for the week, or meal planning, these are simple tasks that make life easier to manage. So, spend time this Valentine’s Day planning something nice for yourself on the day (like a nice dinner at-home), making dinner reservations out and paying a little extra to splurge on valet, or thinking ahead to other days this week that you can plan ahead to make another day easier for your future self.
Splurge on Gifts for Yourself this Valentine’s Day
Even though this is not one of my top love languages, it is probably my favorite. I love both giving and receiving gifts! I am always willing to spend a little bit of money—or a lot—on myself. Some of my favorite things to splurge on are fragrances, fancy dinners out, and spa days. These items I’ve mentioned are more expensive, but giving gifts to yourself can be an affordable treat! One practical and budget-friendly gift idea is to treat yourself to a cup of coffee from your favorite café. You can purchase a new book for yourself, which for me is usually more like an hour or two spent at a second-hand bookstore and leaving with multiple books. You can buy or send yourself flowers as a Valentine’s Day gift. Or one of my favorite hobbies is going to the grocery store and selecting a new wine to treat myself to on the holidays. Gifts don’t have to be grand or expensive, so don’t feel like you have to blow a bag to make yourself feel good.
Show Yourself, Love, with Words of Affirmation
I try to practice words of affirmation often and teach those I work with in therapy to make this a part of their daily life. Words have power, and I am a huge proponent of speaking life into yourself and your situation. I find myself giving self-motivating speeches or telling myself I look good anytime I step in front of a mirror daily. Some days it’s more complicated than others to believe the kind words or even find something positive to say, so another method I appreciate for affirming myself is by using sticky notes. If you’ve ever watched ‘Being Mary Jane,’ then you might be familiar with this. If you haven’t seen the show, two things: one, you should definitely watch it, and two, she used sticky notes to write kind words about herself and had them posted all around her living space. This makes it extremely easy to find kind words to say even if you don’t feel them or nothing comes to mind at that moment. Encourage yourself and talk to yourself with kindness, love, and grace, regardless of your chosen method. You deserve it every day!
Valentine’s Day Doesn’t Have to Be Depressing
Whether you do something alone or with family or friends, being single or alone does not mean you have to be lonely. I hope you are able to identify something that works for you and that lifts your spirits this Valentine’s Day. Grief is a battle, and it isn’t cyclical. Don’t be too hard on yourself or feel bad if you start feeling things you believe you should be over by this time in your life. Embrace it and feel it wholly; suppressing your emotions won’t make you feel any better. They will come out eventually and usually at the worst time. So, choose yourself and choose happiness on this day, because romance doesn’t have to come from another person to experience the joys and excitement of love on Valentine’s Day!
February is the month of romance! But, romance looks different for everyone and has various definitions. So, don’t feel disheartened this holiday season if you’re single because self-love is our greatest love! Lala is dedicated to providing insightful and educational information to help create healthy and happy relationships which play a major role in your sexual health. Subscribe to Lala’s Bedtime Tales Newsletter and follow @LalasBedtimeTales on social media to never miss any sexual education to help you live the healthiest life possible. Also, check out the Lala's Bedtime Tales Podcast and Lala's Oh So Exclusive Patreon account for even more content! If you’re browsing for sexy pleasure products or cute giftable items, then check out Lala’s Pleasure Shop.
Lala’s Bedtime Tales Disclaimer
The content displayed on this website is the intellectual property of LaLa’s Bedtime Tales “The Creator”. You may not reuse, republish, or reprint such content without our written consent.
The subject matter on LaLa’s Bedtime Tales is provided by licensed medical providers and from reputable sources but is meant for educational and informative purposes only. It is not meant to be used for self-diagnosing or self-treatment of any health-related conditions. While the information has been peer-reviewed by a licensed healthcare provider for accuracy, we cannot guarantee any inaccuracies as healthcare is rapidly evolving and this information should not be used to substitute in-person professional medical advice. The Creator is not responsible or liable for any damages, loss, injury, or any negative outcomes suffered as a result of personal reliance on the information contained on this website. The Creator also makes no guaranteed positive outcomes. Information is also subject to change as needed without notice and “The Creator” reserves the right to do so.
Please consult with your healthcare provider before making any healthcare decisions and ask about guidance for specific health conditions. Please do not disregard the advice of your healthcare provider or delay seeking care for health care conditions.
